It's been 7 months since my fingers have navigated these technology waters. I can't believe time has gone by that quickly {sigh}. But no matter.., let me tell you it is good to be back!
I have been through some rough waters in the last few months. My health declined, my marriage nearly crumbled, and my relationships with family and friends were nearly none existent. I felt defeated, guilty, bitter, helpless and hopeless. Yet through it all I held on strongly to the Almighty (truly HE held me).
If there was ever a time to recapture the wonder in my life, then that time was definitely this past summer.
Ever since I was a teenager I struggled with depression. This condition runs in my family and was somewhat under control. I say somewhat because during that same time I was introduced to the Christian faith and whenever I struggled with any feelings of despondency I would immediately brush it off as if it were a sin. Time went on and I didn't receive any treatment. Fast forward a few years I get married and my depression begins to immerse. My husband suggests that I get treatment and I shoo him off and am quite offended at the thought of him suggesting that I have no control over my emotions. So I continue this roller coaster ride. Six years later I am nearly drained. My mood swings got so intense that I began to fear for my very life. I experienced hallucinations and voices. I did the most ridicules, irrational things and yet through it all I found myself completely in denial of my condition.
It was embarrassing....
After 2 months of confusion I decided that for the well being of my husband and myself we needed to separate. My intention was divorce I have a 4 year old who was really a victim in all this chaos... that was the hardest part (At that time I decided to leave Lawn Fawn as well. I should mention here that Kelly was so supportive through the entire process. I love that girl even though I have yet to meet her in person :)
I was away in Michigan in a lonely apartment close to my mom. There in the solitude of those four empty walls something began to change. I accepted the fact that I was in desperate need of help. Though ashamed I knew I needed to take action not for me but for my little girl... and there true healing began.
Depression is a disease that needs medical assistance... never neglect it!
Three months later my husband and I reconcile and we decide to seek treatment together. Everything at this point is at a halt. This man, my husband dropped absolutely everything to go with me through this entire process. Yes, I love this man!!! Because of this finances were tight... we were leaning on the Arm of faith. We go from Michigan to San Diego to seek medical help. There an awesome doctor greets us and the treatment begins. Two weeks into it he suggests me going on a gluten free diet. I kid you not 36 hrs. later I felt great and I begin journaling my food intake. Little did I know that my bi polar disorder was due to gluten sensitivity. It's been 6 months since that visit and I can truly say that I have been healed!! God is Awesome!!
Now Recapturing Wonders is more than my blog's name it's my life's motto. It's finding beauty in all the simple things that I have here; right next to me every day.
It's good to be back with a clean page sort of speak. I've missed you all and thanks those of you who sent email of encouragement and prayers. They meant the world to me. Can't wait to see what you all have been up to :)
The new blog look is only temporary (we'll see how it goes). I just thought it was fitting to change everything as a symbol of a new start.
Oh before I forget I found that pink little flower peaking out my window yesterday. I can't believe they are already blooming :) I know it's cold in other places even snow storm but rest assured that even though the winter chill may still be holding strong the warmth that comes from family and friends will always keep you warm :)
Blessings,
Jessica